An Outsider’s Insider Guide to Hawaii

North Shore: massive nug of 80s cheese, rich like Velveeta. Kind of like the Karate Kid on a surfboard. Love the local color. And to be honest, it’s not all that far off the mark. As a haole with the kind of questionable surf skills possessed by Rick Kane at the outset of the story, I have had a couple close calls with the locals that were practically carbon copies of scenes in the movie.

“He so haole he doesn’t even know he haole.”